first impressions

If you're going to manipulate me, it won't be with tantrums. 

My sweet 26-month-old boy is not one for tantrums. But he is 2. Katherine, Clare, Joel and myself went for a walk this afternoon to distribute Katherine's birthday party invitations. It's not a far walk and I brought snacks and water since it was close to lunch and everyone knows what kind of atomic meltdown can happen when kids get hungry. But I guess Joel had enough. That boy yelled and cried more than 50% of the way because I would not pick him up.

I've pushed a stroller and held a toddler at the same time before but it's not easy. And I knew he could make it. Yes, he's been up later than normal the past two nights so he was tired, but we'd only been out 15 minutes max! So I refused. Oh, I second-guessed myself many times, believe me, but I decided to stick to my guns and the more I think about it, the more I'm glad I did.

Sure, I was embarrassed dragging a 32-pound child by one arm down the sidewalk. Sure, I hated grabbing him by the ear to offer some encouragement to cooperate. Sure, I nearly lost it at at least one point. But I stuck to it. When we got home he went right to time out (as promised) and afterward we cuddled on the couch.

I think this was Joel's first major tantrum of this nature and I felt like what I did would set an important precedent as to what he could expect in the future. I remember a turning point in tantrums with Katherine. She was in the toy room and for whatever reason wanted me to open the door for her to get out. I believe I was busy and instructed her to open it for herself. What ensued was a 30-minute (I timed it) yelling, screaming, tantrum throwing, kicking fit. Sure, I second-guessed myself many times. But I made an educated, calculated decision and stuck to my guns. After about 32 minutes she stopped, opened the door herself, and came out talking to me as if nothing had occurred. I don't even think I addressed it with her to any extent because I knew she knew. She tried it again a few weeks later. That one lasted 3 minutes and it's never happened again.

It was hard to accomplish this today. I mean, Joel is still my baby is so many ways. But I did it. And I feel good about it.