coconut ice cream

What's the male version of a geisha? I don't know, but whatever it is, my husband has been epitomizing it for the past few days.

Thursday night (okay, we all know it was really Friday morning) I woke up frequently feeling sick. When I got up Friday, boy was I sick. Throwing up tons followed by aches and soreness. It was yucky. I rarely get this type of sickness and thank goodness. My husband is almost never home this semester and I'm grateful my illness fell on a day when he was home AND felt able to help out. What a lot of people don't understand is that even when Aaron is home, he's often not available because he does his projects from home. So we try to leave him alone.

 I woke him up Friday to express my need for help. I need to remember that when my husband is half asleep he doesn't say the things he'd normally say when fully awake (he stays up until 4am to work while the kids are in bed). So after being basically told that he would not be able to help me, I suffered in silence a little while longer. Fast forward... Aaron remembers almost nothing of that conversation but the rest of the day he entertained the kids, took them out, brought Clare to me when she needed to nurse, encouraged me to take a warm bath, asked how I was whenever he heard me loosing my bile and brought me saltines and powerade.

That night I tried to go to bed early but Joel woke up sick and I was chilly. So Aaron came and cuddled with me (can I get a sweet "Ahhhhhhhh"), only taking slight advantage of my sickened state (TMI?).

Saturday was Katie's b-day party and my trip with Joel to the doctor for croup. Katie comes with me to the doctor (because she likes going there for whatever odd-ball reason) but Clare is asleep so I leave her with Aaron. I'm gone LESS THAN AN HOUR, planning to nurse her as soon as I get home and what do I find? An empty cradle, a missing husband and no second car. I. FREAK. OUT. See, I have this thing about feeding my children. Should the time come when I can not feed their bellies, I may literally go insane. It is the most basic "job" of a mom! So basic, in fact, that nature has even provided a way for my body to make food for my babies! And he wouldn't answer his phone! Anyway, it was an unpleasant experience for this mom but it did result in my anxious energy out-letting on the dirty dishes. So that's good, right?

I’ve been forbidden to consume dairy for over a month now. Every time husband waves a doughnut in my face asking if I want a bite and then remember I can’t have a bit, I think he’s struck with some kind of guilt. He has been on the hunt for a dairy-free “treat” as he calls it since the first week. So I thought I’d help him out. 

A friend told me about coconut ice cream Sunflower Market sells that is supposedly divine. I texted her asking her to tell him about it. She did, but he didn't mention it to me which leads me to believe that he has yet to discover that I know about the ice cream. I'm expecting a "HEY!!!!" from the other room any minute now...

So where was he Saturday afternoon with my hungry baby (who apparently did not act hungry while out and about with her papa)? Getting me ice cream. What a sweet man. See Robyn (my mother-in-law), one less thing for you to apologize for. :-)

Oh, and the ice cream? Fab-u-lous. 

don't get your panties in a bunch...

...this post is not listed under "Kama Sutra". But in thinking over the roles of a homemaker, I think "geisha" is legit. Hear me out.

I've come far in my 6 years of marriage. I went from a left-wingish view on femininity to what I see as a healthier, more realistic view. The toughest pill I had to swallow was basically summed up in Dr. Larua's: The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. I even made it through the entire book - but only with some forced humility. In college, I could have written a 20 page paper to counteract all her arguments. But after being married, wanting said marriage to be a happy one and realizing I was not perfect OR the only one with genuine needs in the relationship, I succumbed.

So did I really want to watch two episodes of The Big Bang Theory or 4 of The Office tonight all in a row? Well, okay, part of me sure did. :-) But this means the dishes won't get done. And boy do they need some doneing. What it boiled down to for me was that I know this ritual we have of watching episodes on Sunday night means something more to my husband. That need deserves to be respected and validated. It took me a while to decode this information about my guy, more time to accept it and even more to act upon it, but he's a patient man.