gratitude tree

"The more we expressed gratitude, the more there was to be grateful for." quoted by Bonnie D. Parkin

Last year I got an idea in my head and it turned into a tree-shaped paper on our wall with leaves taped to it. On each leaf was something someone in the family was grateful for. Katherine really jumped into the project and we kept a small basket with pre-cut leaves and a marker out so that throughout the weeks she and I would think of new things to add to our grateful tree.

This year the tree was shaped a tad different, the leaves look less like leaves than they did last year and Joel, who is now verbal, was able to express his gratitude for: Jesus, houses, kittens. It looked a little different but the kids were enthusiastic!

Throughout life there are trials, bumps, difficulties, heart-ache, pain, anguish, misfortune and abyssal moments. Holding onto gratitude can be like the lifeline to a ship if you've fallen overboard. I content that there is always something to be grateful for and learning to look for those things, learning to carry a sense of gratitude with you on a regular basis, can guard you against depression and negativity. It keeps you humble and generous. I helps keep perspective. "...for one cannot feel pride and gratitude at the same time." [S. Michael Wilcox] So I want my kids to see this, to learn this and to practice it. I want them to be protected in this world where men's hearts fail them. I will not be there in person as they walk their college campuses and converse with their high school friends. They will need to have an inner spring from which to take from. They will already need to be practiced at feeling grateful. So, we're starting early.

days 5, 6, 7 and 8/9

Day 5 - left overs. We love left overs at our house.

Day 6 - dinner with family.

Day 7.
I thawed out some chunks of dead cow and marinated them in teriyaki sauce (love me some teriyaki). Made some roasted potatoes, left over cauliflower and peas from yesterday and grapes.

Of course the kids wouldn't eat pieces of steak even if it is tenderized from 36 hours of marinading... so they got cheese quesadillas. Works for me.

Days 8/9
Tonight I have prepared for you a white chicken chili. My first time concocting such a culinary treat that includes chicken and peppers from the freezer. For future reference, you can't  begin a crock pot meal in the later afternoon and expect it to be satisfactory by dinner. Therefore, we had pot stickers (from the freezer), green beans, pears and grapes tonight. Tomorrow (day 9) we shall dine on the chicken chili for lunch. AND since I prepared more chicken than I needed, chicken pot pie or chicken enchiladas might make an appearance tomorrow! I know, I'm so excited I almost peed my pants too!

pizza pizza day 4

I couldn't have pizza every day. But I could certainly chow down once a week and not get tired of the stuff. So tonight was nice. :-) We made home-made pizza. I have an easy bread recipe that works fine for pizza crust so I whipped up a batch of
[Katie is reading this as I type and has needed help with only 3 words. I am proud of her reading skills. THEN I realized I might speak/write at an elementary level.]
crust and sectioned it out into one for each older child, a large one of the adults and the remaining I shaped in to three pieces and stuck in the freezer (yes, I broke a rule for the rest of the month).

Some tomato sauce with seasoning, cheese and toppings.... here comes the freezer. I (apparently) have a few rolls of MSG-free sausage. I thawed and cooked one of those. I also have slices of green pepper that I cut up frozen and tossed on top. A can of mushrooms, a can of olives and you have some pretty good pizza.

Apple sauce and cucumbers to go with it. The kids made their own, choosing their own toppings, smashing the cheese into the sauce and making a merry ol' mess! They loved it and ate well.

Okay, so I did add to my freezer tonight. I hadn't planned on it but, well, sorry, I did. I'll try to use up the dough before the end of the month. I almost made cal zones out of the dough but laziness got the best of me. :-)

what % of your $ is spent on your home?

Me and my nerdy self finally sat down to do something I've wanted to accomplish for a while. And since the internet provides a to share personal information without feeling like it's crossing any boundaries AND because it might help someone else out, ya'll get to see my figures. :-)

This provides a break down of our continueally evolving budget catagories and the percentage of monthly income we delegate (notice I said "delegate" not actually "spend") in each. Give yours a whirl and see what you get!

The math is pretty straight forward. Take how much you pay each month for mortgage, let's say... $850 divide it by your total monthly take home let's say... $3000. Then multiply that figure by 100 to make it a percentage. So for my example here:
850/3000*100
this couple spends 28.3% of their monthly budget on their mortgage.

Here's what I discovered today:
tithing/fast offering/charities                                                     13.4
mortgage/home insurance/taxes                                               24.4
extra to pay off principle                                                           1.6

phones                                                                                     2.5
health ins.                                                                                 8.8
AAA membership                                                                     0.4
Car ins.                                                                                    2.1
Spending money                                                                       3.6
(clothing, fast food, anything extra for the individual)
Internet                                                                                     1.6
(currently less since I called about changing to another company)
Home gas                                                                                 2.1
Utilities                                                                                     4.6
(we aren’t that extravagant, Salem City has high utility charges)
Preschool                                                                                 2.3
Car registration                                                                         0.6
Christmas gifts                                                                          0.4
Date night (when it happens)                                                   1.4
Gas for cars                                                                              5.3
Food                                                                                        8.5
Other                                                                                      14.5
(toiletries, car repairs, redbox, art supplies[Aaron])
Savings                                                                                    1.9       

"AAA membership," you laugh. But let me tell you, not budgeting that in makes for a great big surprise every May! A friend of mine makes a yearly budget. I thought she was crazy, but now I get it. Think about Christmas and birthday gifts. Do you save for those? If you don't and if you are on a tight budget, you either go without giving, scrimp by the rest of that month or go over budget! So this year - it is my first year doing it - I budgeted for Christmas. Not much (obviously) about the same I budget for AAA membership apparently. :-) So, um, don't be surprised if they are homemade again this year. :-) 


Breaking things down this way puts your budget into a different perspective than just using dollar figures. Take my above example of a $850 mortgage payment on a $3000/month take home. Telling yourself that $850 for the chance to live in a nice home, safe neighborhood and 2-car garage isn't so bad is probably true. But if you only bring home $3000/month you are spending nearly one-third of your expendable income on your home! Living is likely to be a large expense but think of it like this: if you lose your income or it becomes reduced, your ability to make those house payments each month become more and more jeapordized with each percentage increase. It looks like 25% is suggested as a comfortable number. 


Notice what isn't in my list up there? Retirement. Notice what is barely peaking its tiny head through? Savings. I think about this a lot, but at the moment, what you see is about as well as we can do. Here's to praying that we have no major catastrophe before my hubby graduates and is able to find meaningful employment.

Now I am by no means an expert. I know some of you know far more than I do. So please, feel free to comment below.

Thank you and have a nice day. :-)

day 3... i didn't want to do it

Day 3 has rolled around. In preparation I dug through our large freezer downstairs and found some ground beef (thought that was all gone) and stew meat and thawed them in the fridge over night. These bundles of protein were generously donated by my husband's aunt and dead cow who had too much of the dead cow. :-) We sure have appreciated them.

All afternoon I kept wondering what to make. And the only thing that kept coming to me was Robyn's Stroganoff. Except, that's what Robyn made on Sunday and even though it is a meal I enjoy, I just wasn't in the mood today. But when 4 rolled around (oh that hour!) and Katie was hungry and I realized I'd forgotten about lunch again (for me, the kids got fed); stroganoff it was. Normally, our meals are dictated by what I'm in the mood for but since I felt the pinch and the meat was there, I went for it. An experiment within an experiment: will Rebecca eat what she cooked when she didn't want to cook it? Results? Oh, I ate it, but I didn't love it. Am I the only (non pregnant) one whose whimsical food moods have such control over what is consumed??? I swear it's only gotten worse with age. Hmm, I say that about a lot of things. :-)

Anyhow, Robyn's Stroganoff served over whole wheat pasta and steamed carrots this evening. The beef was the only freezer ingredient. Man, only day 3 and I'm already losing some pizazz. :-)

day 2

Freezer items:
prepared chicken/cheese/broccoli thing
2 prepared salmon/crab thing

Pantry items:
instant rice
parsley
canned mushrooms
oil

Fridge items:
parm cheese
butter
onion
carrots

Tonight I baked the pre-made things I purchased who knows when, but on sale. Then I threw together an attempt at risotto that I'm sure pales in comparison to the real stuff, but tasted GREAT anyway (I mean, what wouldn't with that much butter and cheese????). And then people started needing me so carrots for veggies!

I always buy these fun things when they are a great deal and tuck them away in the freezer for "just in case" days. But then I never feel like the day justifies a "just in case". So that is something this month is about. I'm using up all these fun things like salmon crab thingys. :-)

Aaron stole the camera today or I'd have a picture up for you. I know, I can hear the cries from here.

freezer cooking day 1

Welcome to my first post under "economist". I've known since before the birth of this blog that the job title of economist would be a must for any homemaker, but I didn't know quite yet what to write. And then, as it always does, life presented me with an opportunity AND a friend with a suggestion.

So, somehow I managed to burn through our entire month's grocery budget in half the month. "How?" asked a husband. "Uh, I don't know," replied the wife. I should probably go check my account (I write down EVERYTHING we spend) and track this problem down. But, back to being on track...

I had the chance to talk to my wonderful friend today (::wink:: @ Temma) while I lamented cooking meals to only share with my children since the hubby is gone most evenings out of the week. We yacked about a few ideas and tossed some things around. She asked if I cook extra and then freeze? Well, I do, but... Hmmm, I thought, the freezer is getting kind of full. Then, around 4 (my what-to-make-tonight hour of the day) I examined my pantry and decided I wanted to make Spanish rice. GREAT! But I wanted to add meat to make it more substantial for the kids and my nursing self. And then, DING DING DING, I remembered the 1/2# ground turkey I cooked and froze. Perfect!

Spanish rice (yummy, btw) with spinach (more for color than nutrition really), steamed broccoli (also from the freezer) and olives. It was yummy. Successful dinner + full freezer + no money = my attempt to cook each meal the rest of this month using things from our freezer(s).

Oh, no worries, I fully expect to fail. I mean, how much does a freezer or two really hold when you use it as your go-to every night (well, you know, when you cook anyway) and purposely don't replenish your stock? Can you even make appealing meals using freezer items? Can you make the nutritious and balanced? How long would your freezer food storage last... really?

The answers to these riveting questions and more, when we return!

some people are just mean

Daddy getting ready to nudge an unsuspecting Katie into the water. July 2011

Over the past few days Katie’s (now 5) asked a couple times some variation of, “Why is everyone being mean to me?!”

Yesterday, my initial attempt to address that question was to wade into the idea that her perspective influences how she feels about situations. Well, actually, this is hardly the first time we’ve headed down the perspective alley, but normally the issue is having a difference of opinion, not how she feels. I kind of fumbled over my words and missed the touch down. After she went to bed I realized my play was all wrong.

You see, people have been mean to her over the past few days! Well, at least, my perception of reality matches hers on this point. When your little brother tears your drawing just because you specifically told him not to, well, that’s mean! This wasn’t about changing her perception; it was about choosing how to react. Mommy missed the boat on that one.

I brought it up today but she was soooo not interested (she’s gonna be a fun teenager, let me tell you). I don’t doubt life will provide further opportunities to teach her. Problem is, example/modeling is the best teacher, right? Want to know how I handle it when someone is purposely mean to me? I usually do one of 3 things, 1) smile and reply with a snarky and cutting comment, 2) wonder what is wrong with me (as if I’m the reason every person has a bad day) and want to cry, or 3) fight back… sometimes pretty dirty. I’ll admit, I’ve toned it down in my old age, but I really need to get on the ball. After all, I’ll have a tween in 6 years and a teenager in 8. Guess who will be wearing the largest target for my daughter’s the-world-hates-me drama at that point? ME!!!!!!! Oh, and I guess I could teach her how to live her life so that another person's bad day doesn't ruin her own.

truce

Whole wheat bread and I have called a truce. I won't abuse it any longer and it will continue to give me its best, even if it isn't what I find the stores. I have a recipe I like, my family eats it, it does rise (those it sinks down a little later), it's not a difficult recipe... I mean, I shouldn't complain. No, it's not super pretty like the perfect store loaves but maybe it's just the best I can do at this point in time. So be it. I'm still happy with it. :-)

bleach in dish water

[Am I the only one that has noticed that under the "maid" tab this is only my second post? Guess what I don't spend much time doing around here. :-)]

My husband and I have had a debate for years over whether or not to use bleach in the dishwater. I should point out that we hand wash our dishes, and will continue to do so until we win the lottery. After several arguments we basically left it at letting the person who is washing decide if bleach should be used. (Um, I may have added some to his sink full when he wasn't looking. But only when baby items or the such were involved!!! So stop judging!) Now, in my husband's senior year of college, I basically do all the washing.

As a compromise, I purchased Dawn with Bleach Alternative. Used that for a while but things just didn't seem to be as clean. I also tried for a long while to just not use bleach but my sink and counters started to look dirtier themselves. So now I'm back to bleach and Dawn, Dawn and bleach. But not too much bleach... I think. And I have an order I wash things in (I know, I know....). Not a strict one, but if I have kid drink or baby items, I wash those before the pan my raw chicken was marinating in gets dunked. You know, just in case.

I've been "researching" (maybe the number 3 thing I do as a homemaker, but I have yet to figure out how to organize it into a tab on this blog) and coming up with a wide variety of mixed results. So, I still don't know. Here are some of the better pieces of information I ran across:

The rule of thumb I've learned from health inspectors is to dunk your arm in the sanitize sink and pull it out. If you want to be fussy about it, there are test strips available. There should be a faint smell of bleach on the skin. The official requirement is usually 50-100 ppm of bleach, or one teaspoon per gallon.

So, "three thimbles" of bleach to a sink is close enough to commercial health code specs for home use, and certainly not going to harm anyone.

 Did I select this to be first because I'm biased?

My husband the Heath Inspector said: Putting the bleach in a dishwasher at the beginning of the cycle is useless, the bleach will get washed out. In most commercial dishwashers the bleach dispenses at the end of the cycle. Not enough to hurt anyone.

Okay, but I hand wash. Next...

Are you washing your dishes with raw sewage? Do you have some reason to suspect that your dishwater harbors some unholy bacterial colonies? If not, then you have no need for the bleach. You don't need antibacterial soap either. Regular soap does the same thing. Both do more harm than good. 

He has a point. But what about raw chicken juice? That's like sewage.

I don't believe such a small amount would be hazardous to your health. Diluted bleach is used all the time for disinfecting restaurant surfaces and can actually be used to sanitize drinking water. I'd be more worried about the other chemicals in your general cleanser than the bleach.

If your dishes are washed clean and rinsed with clean water, there should be no reason to further sanitize them, I'd consider the bleach treatment overkill. 

 So I guess the jury is still out. But I wipe my counters down after I wash dishes and my sink seems cleaner and I just like it. So I think I'll continue to use bleach; for now.

acceptance - a baby with down syndrome

Upon the birth of our third child, an incredible and purple baby girl, we learned she has Trisomy 21 (aka Down Syndrome). After nearly 3 months of being blessed to be her mother, the follow thoughts occurred to me and I wrote this:

my babe at nearly 8 months

My very first thought about Clare's diagnosis was something along the lines of "I don't want to deal with this!" It took me a full 24 hours to call her "pretty" (which crushes me now because she just is so beautiful) because I didn't want to say it until I meant it. And the child grew on me. :-) It's odd, as a mom, to love a baby but to have to learn to look past a difference. A friend said that you grieve for the child you thought you would have (whether that be boy/girl, or special needs/typically developing). And it's true. I needed to do that, but at the same time I fell in love with this perfect little being.

Tonight I realized I could say with 100% certainty that if given the chance I would not remove that extra chromosome. Not because it would change who Clare is; I believe I would have fall in love with this child regardless of her number of chromosomes. No, I wouldn't change the DS if I could just because I don't see it as bad. I just see it as is. Like hair color. Now, I am sure this has something to do with the fact that so far - thank you, Lord - we have not dealt with the medical problems too often associated with the genetic abnormality, and I always reserve the right to change my mind. But right now, I would not change a thing. I wouldn't make Katie shorter or Joel more handsome or Clare with fewer chromosomes because those things just are and they are okay. I'm sure most people don't understand. And hey, up until today I wouldn't have even believed to hear someone say it. But I mean it.

Perhaps part of it is because of acceptance. Acceptance of differences, of life circumstances beyond my control, of others, of myself just as we are has never been a strong point. But I have strived for improvement for more than a decade now and maybe this is just another step on that path. To see this little girl and accept her, all of her. Not in the "sure you can join our group because we're gonna be nice to you despite the fact that we don't like something about you so we'll try to ignore it" sense of acceptance. But REAL acceptance. The kind where you don't even see the difference. "What? There is a difference? Just thought it was another way of being human, didn't even think of it as "different"" kind of acceptance.

Cliche or not, having her in my life has already taught me a great deal. Scratch that. More significantly, I've had to grow a great deal. I don't even think I've noticed all that much because generally growth in my life has been painful. This doesn't hurt at all. It's amazing and wonderful and I'm loving it. She's wonderful and I love her.

best time of your life?

Met a friend of mine, Faith, at the mall a few days ago to get out of the house, let the kids play together and get some nice adult conversation squeezed in there. I have 3 children, she has 3 and is expecting numero 4 soon. I shared with her a quote I read in the Reader's Digest, "Want to know what it's like to have 4 children? Pretend you are drowning and have someone throw you a 4th child." Hahaha. Oh come on, it's funny!

Well, she only shared a light chuckle. Turns out Faith's mother told her that this is the best time of her life. I said, "Well, every time is the best time of your life. There are things happening right now in this stage of life you will never be able to have again. Every stage has something like that. They are each the best time of your life." Faith pointed out what she'll miss when her children are older and how at some point, it will be the final time you are ever pregnant. Those are significant milestones for mommies!

So I stated my feel-good (though I do believe it) thought, finished my Japanese (yummy) mall food and moved on to stashing my monkeys in the van. And then I started thinking: WAIT. WHAT IF THIS REALLY IS THE BEST TIME IN MY LIFE? And I thought about all I have now that I won't have later; all the positive ones:
time with just me and the kids on a daily basis
an immeasurable amount of influence over their little selves
almost exclusive control over what those kids are exposed to and influenced by
chances to snuggles sleepy babies
light kisses on warm foreheads unmarred by acne, oil or a scrunch as the mom leans in for a kiss
the chance to carry them down the stairs when they are tired
the chance to cuddle them on my lap when they are sick
being stronger and faster
watching a face light up when they learn something new
being able to get a smile just by pretending to be scared when they "sneak" up on me
saying, "You're going to eat those," being enough to see the carrots vanish
watching their little bums jiggle as they run away laughing when they should be in the bath

Really. What if THIS is THE BEST time in all of my life??? I have plans for the future (a few actually), believe me. I want to learn French and with a newly attained nursing degree do charity work in Haiti. I want to get a nursing degree, combine it with my counseling degree and make buckets of money in the US prescribing psychiatric meds. I want to travel Europe with my automatic vacation partner (he knows who he is). I want to be a nurse midwife. I want to really learn how to sing and participate in the church choir. I want to have time to make my church lessons all cute with visual aids. I want to cuddle my grandkids and worry over how their parents are bringing them up. I want to nag my husband about renovating the house and adding a back deck. I want to wake up to the sun rising in my backyard and see nothing else besides it and the field.

I have all these wonderful plans. All these amazing and beautiful and exciting things I've wanted to do forever and new ones that develop as life goes along. ALL of these things I consciously chose to put on hold when I became a mother. I chose to dedicate my time, talents and energies to raising the most well-adjusted, kind, contributing members of society I could muster. (Perhaps the most telling sign is that a decided to not let getting up at all hours of the night bother me. And then I worked until that decision came to pass.) I knew my life was essentially having the "pause" button pushed. But what if I was wrong? What if this really is it? What if this is the best time of my life? That no matter what castle I finally get to visit or child I am blessed to vaccinate or car I'm able to afford  or hours of sleeping in ever compares to what I do now on a daily basis? If that's legit then I can't let this pass by!!!

I need to soak it up and enjoy each second! If you knew you were eating THE BEST steak ever produced and this would be the only time you would ever spend the money to eat it, would you not savor each and every bite??!!!?!?!?! You'd gently cut it into small pieces (I don't advocate doing that to children), skewer each one on your fork (again, not advocating) individually, place it on your tongue and close your eyes as you chewed (yet again...). Well, that's what I'd do anyway. (Can you tell I wish I'd ordered steak tonight instead of chicken?) I read an article once on how adults with children are more stressed than those without. BUT in the long run, they are happier.

See, all these other plans I have sound wonderful, but I just don't see how when it comes down it, they will ever compare with those giggles and smiles and scribbled paper. Maybe it's because they are all asleep right now.... but really, I just don't get how it could compare. There is a tremendous truth to each time period being the best in your life, but I think I'm living my peak. Glad I realized it before it is too late to appreciate.