make it an adventure

Yesterday we spent the holiday at my sister's in-laws (because our families are cool like that). Going there is a treat for my kids because the house is big, it has its own special play room, a sprinkler was involved, an uncle plays with them, cousins are around and different toys abound! In the morning I decided to have a little fun with them and ask if we should go on an adventure. Well if that didn't perk their little heads right up! It was cute to hear their ideas of an adventure - the park, the library - but mine won for sure and excitement ensued. We had a good time. Fast forward 24 hours and I needed to take a small road trip by way of highway 6 for 75-90 minutes each way... with all three angels. My biggest concern is keeping my sleep-deprived self awake while driving through the mountains, but coming in second is keeping those whiny little beasts happy. So I pulled "adventure" out of my magic hat and geared them up to be excited.  We piled into the car and the ever predictable "I'm hungry" rang out. But I was prepared with an uncommon treat at our place: graham crackers, which could be consumed after the apple slices. They were cool with that, I mean, it was graham crackers. Next on our adventure we counted the trains, both stationary and mobile, passed on our journey. This is probably Joel's favorite part. Halfway there I broke out the portable DVD player (thanks mom!) and Dr. Seuss entertained the older two the rest of the way.  Our adventure to the McDonald's playground (because my children get excited about McDonald's playgrounds) was a success and because they were pretty well behaved they got some ice cream on the way out. Talk about sticky happy (quiet) children! But the real fun happened on the way home. So, for whatever random reason, there is a replica of a train at a random stop on highway 6. I found it on accident last month. Boy was that fun. :-)  What really happened? I think I gave them a positive label to place on the experience. I think I gave them a positive way to look at the bulk of their day. I think I put out some positive energy to feed off of.  I hope I taught them something about perception and attitude. It could have been a boring 3 hour drive. But we made it into an adventure instead! It was a good reminder for me. Oh, I should mention that while at the train rest stop a real train passed by and Joel shot both hands high into the air and shouted, "Two trains! Two trains!" Cutest thing all day.

american gypsy

American Gypsy Lately, my "cardio" session distractions have included TLC and My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding.  Okay, at first it was like watching a train wreck (meeting your future spouse at a party designed for such a purpose) You don't want others seeing you gawk at the mess (getting married at 16 as a norm) but it is just too much devastation to look away from (girls and boys with very different rules). Then I moved onto aghast (throwing a wedding together in a week). After that it became judgment (as of that isn't obvious by now) and from there mental mocking (wedding dressing with more bling than a corner jewley store) with disbelief scattered throughout. And then it hit me today like a wet towel in the face[SNAP!]: these people are just like me! And what's more, I admire them. Let me explain. The scene was of three teen girls at the mall, looking very teen girlish indeed. Enter two teen Romanichal gypsy boys who the girls know they are not allowed to even speak to. (In fact, there were three females because one was serving as an escort as Romanichal gypsy girls are not allowed out without one.) And they obeyed their rules! These kids were living in "the world" but not being "of the world" (as they define it). I had a hearty internal laugh at myself.  In the LDS religion we have a saying about living in the world but not becoming part of the world. So we go to,work and school,and parties, yada yada... But we do,not get caught up in worldly things or ambitions. We keep our eye on the eternal prize so to speak. Well, this is the task anyway. I suddenly found myself very impressed with these teens. They are able to go to high school, dress like their peers, be all teenager goofy but still maintain their cultural practices and standards! Yeah, I am impressed for sure.   And to top it all off, they are a minority group and experience all the persecutions and ostrasizarion that comes with the territory. Again, I could relate. And these teens, this whole group of people in fact, gained my respect. It is not easy to live in a world that does not accept your world. A world that treats you as a freak and looks down upon some of your most basis practices as wrong. That takes a strong soul. And it helps to have a strong family. In fact, I found myself wanting desperately to know what the parents are doing that produce children willing to be like and obey the previous generation! I mean, maybe it's just me, but I want my kids to take on my beliefs and values. If I didnt believe  and value them, I would have passed them up long ago. These things mean so much to me and I want them to mean something to my off spring. So these gypsy moms and dads... They have something figured out.

and on that uplifting note...

My hubby was unable to find the reference for me but according to him, a newspaper article made a big deal over Mitt Romney using the word "sacrifice". Not because of what he thought needed to be sacrificed,  but because he wanted people to sacrifice. Now this got the little clock work devises in my head turning away. What are you willing to sacrifice?

Our country is in a rough, precarious spot at the moment, right? The national debt is over 15 trillion as of this month and for whatever crazy reason, it keeps getting worse! I am beginning to think that WE think it will just magically go away. Like there is a wand or a perfect presidential canidate that we can all hold on to hope for. This magical fairy president will wave his/her sparkling wand and the budget will be balanced again! Now of course I am being ridiculous, but if you have been sitting around realizing that things are going to have to change in YOUR life to get this nation out of this giant pile of dog poo, your neighbor hasn't. So share this with him and her.

Which brings me to my main question of the evening, what are YOU willing to sacrifice to shave some pennies off a number so large I can not fathom? Now wait! Stop right there!!! I know what you are doing, you brain went right to those "unnecessary" federal programs you've never had use of. But I didn't ask you what you think your neighbor should sacrifice, I asked you what YOU are willing to give up.

Are you willing too pay more for most of your processed foods so government subsidies to farmers can be cut off? Are you willing to allow your child to go uninsured so the Utah CHIP program funds can be used to pay back China? Are you willing to have your ailing father-in-law move in with you (even though your spouse's sister has a larger home and fewer kids) because there simply is not enough Medicare money to cover the cost of caring for our dear seniors? Are you willing to have a cure for cancer 10 further years away? Are you willing to sacrifice your or your child's opportunity for a public education because there is no longer a chance for student loans? And the list goes on.

"No!" right? Even as I write this I am mentally screaming it! Katie not go to college? My accident prone boy not have health coverage? "NO!" I shout. "Cut something else! We can't possibly live without those things!" But that's just it. At the point of negative 15 trillion, good things have to go. And we have to expect that every individual will be expected to sacrifice something.

I expect it to be unpleasant. I expect my heart to fight the inevitable. But what's the alternative? Pass a much larger problem onto my children and grand children? Come on now, ignoring this type of problem does not make it disappear. As Americans, we have to face up to this hard reality at some point. It is like dieting, there is no magic pill. You will cry about it and fight against it but when it comes down to it, you will have to bypass the cake and hit the treadmill if you want to lose that belly. No magic wand available. 

You are not alone. I am sad about it too. But I figure that history shows us the capacity of people to sacrifice, struggle, survive, and overcome. It is an unpleasant reality, but possible.

this is not for you, it is for someone who can't help herself

This morning I said a special prayer for the forgotten children of the world with my own children at my side. I know God has not forgotten them, but the world has. I haven’t, BUT [enter all the reasons we use for not doing something]. Immediately following that prayer I had a thought, an inspiration, an idea.

WHO:

Here is who I thought it could benefit. There is an adorable little girl named Livvy Mae. She has Down syndrome and will likely live a life of nothingness if not adopted. There is a family looking to make her their own but short on funds. [Of course they are short on funds!! These adoptions cost anywhere from $25,000-$55,000. Insane, right? It is. But until that changes, this is how it goes.] So the Herrington Family needs you and Livvy Mae needs you and these 4 girls running http://4girls4christ.blogspot.com/ need you.

These are four teenagers who are trying to raise money for someone they don’t know. I’ve been keeping an eye on their blog and I’m a little annoyed that their progress has been so slow. I mean, for $10 you can get entered into a drawing for one of the prizes they bothered to solicit, you can help save a life and bless a family AND support TEENAGERS who are actually DOING something outside of their own little sphere. I mean, come on, when was the last time you went through that much trouble for a stranger?

 They have a goal of $2000 by the end of March (it used to be the end of February, btw). They are at $320. A blessing yes, but come on people. When was the last time you blew $10 on a new shirt or a few lattes. I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy the new shirt or the fancy coffee, but as you’re passing by, could you drop $10 into the Livvy Mae bucket as well? Or bake something?

WHAT:

Let us have a bake sale. No, not just me. I said “us”. So, um, that means you.

HOW:

Here is how I thought it might work.

1)      Create a sign up sheet asking for people interested in purchasing a baked good from you. Include what you are tempting them with, the amount of slots you are willing to fill (like, I can bake 4 loaves of bread at a time, so I would probably do 4 slots) and the date you plan to deliver on your end of the bargain.

2)      Collect $5. Yes, $5 is a lot for a dozen cookies when they are $3 at the store, but, um, that’s okay, it is for charity.

3)      Then go ahead and bake away!

4)      Deliver yummy stuff.

5)      Donate the money to http://4girls4christ.blogspot.com/p/livy-mae-giveaway-donateprizes.html

THE OTHER HOW:

I know. I know. Believe me I KNOW!!! You work full-time, you’re a single parent, you have a new-born, you don’t get any time to yourself as it is, you go to school, you’re pregnant, you don’t bake, etc.

How about taking a sign up sheet into work and getting a few commitments? Have your kids help you make the bread/goods (mine do). Strap your sleeping baby to you while you add, stir and bake, bring a sheet to school with you to ask for commitments to this cause and yummy stuff. If you’re so pregnant that your belly gets in the way, stand on a stool while you knead dough or stir something up. If you don’t bake then there are these amazing things called no-bake cookies. Give them a shot.

Stuck on what to make? I have an muffin recipe I’m happy to share. I have a few really good cookie recipes I’ll type up. I make a yummy cinnamon bread if anyone’s interested in doing bread.

WHEN:

Well, when you can before the end of March, but let’s shoot for next week. Or the week after. Set a date for yourself and do it.

So, I can’t do this all on my own. Aaron and I have already donated to Livvy Mae through these girls. I need your help and you need to get in the kitchen and do something. I really am asking this of you and I really am expecting it. Sorry, but I am because it is so important. If you don’t step up to the plate this time, I’ll be hounding you next time, I promise. I promise I'll hound you and I promise there will be a next time.

*If you’re in need of some motivation and you’re interested in learning about the kind of life Livvy has to look forward to where she is, contact me.

** Their donate button does not show up on mobile devices (smartphone, iPad) for whatever reason.

*** I’d love to hear how your baking goes. Remember, it’s not for you. It’s for someone who can’t help herself.

check mate

Isn't there something about making things a reality by writing them down?

I recently shared with my sister-in-law that I have a list of things I like to accomplish daily. But even as I said that I knew I didn't do all of them daily, it was more of an ideal that occasionally broke through that silver cloud into reality. But that led to and idea. What if I wrote them down and kept track? Kind of like a chore chart for mommy. Only, we can't call it a "chore chart", I mean, who ever heard of knocking down Legos, saying "Peek-A-Boo!!!" and my-pony-is-hurt-in-the-woods-and-you-are-the-grandma-and-when-I-make-this-noise-lalalalala-you-come-to-rescue-us-because-fire-hurt-my-legs-and-I-can't-walk-either with your kids a chore??

And was born my Daily Goal chart:

Said piece of paper was made in a fit of "I must do it now or I'll never get it done" on what was beautiful writing paper until it became plastered to the side of my fridge...next to the dirty dishes.

Now, don't go laughing over "do dishes". If you've EVER lived with me for ANY amount of time, you KNOW what a chore that has been in my life. I used to loath it, then I hated it, last week I just accepted it and as of this chart I see it has a challenge to be overcome if nothing else gets checked off that day. Sadly, it is easier to do that play with my own kids on some days.

Most of my cleaning occurs when the mess has reached my threshold of tolerance, which is higher than most of my peers but low enough that if Social Services ever visited my house, the mess would probably not make it into the notes. There were days this week I thought sweeping was dumb because there was hardly anything on the floor! But I'm the classic good-student who strive for the A just to see the A, and wanting to see another check mark when I knew I might not get around to reading to Clare was enough motivation for me. On all but one of those occasions, I found more dirt than I thought I would and wa-la! My floors are lookin' good!

Months ago I set the goal to sweep and wash dishes daily but it didn't happen daily. I wonder if it happened as much as my mind thinks it happened. It is easy to get off track when there is nothing but what you seem to remember doing, keep you on track. That is why I added "work" to the list. I do mystery shopping and review paperwork for a mental health company. I realized, that if I don't make a point to do it, I wont. Instead I will THINK I "just barely" did some!... 4 days ago.

And "throw something away"? Yeah, both my husband and I have hording tendencies that we are aware of but still trying to balance. So, every day I have to throw something (not just paper or trash, but someTHING) away. Still working on that one, but it feels good when I do it. I recently felt the need to "get my house in order" by cleansing and living in a more pleasant, organized environment. I'm working toward that and I expect that in a year, we will see some big improvements!

Now if only I can work on my priorities. :-) The day will come with Reading gets more check marks than dishes. I will find a balance. I'm far from beating myself up over missing days here and there (well, except for maybe on one or two rows) because the fact is, if I read with Joel 5/7 days of the week, I'm pretty sure he'll still have fond memories of his mommy reading time. If I do the dishes 5/7 days of the week, we won't have any extra bugs or smells.

Plus, keeping myself accountable has helped this week! Knowing that I'd have to face IN INK if I skipped out on one of these goals added to my motivation to accomplish them. And I feel good about it! I feel like a better mom, a better house-keeper person, a better employee, a better me, all that jazz. Because these are MY goals and I'm watching myself work toward them. 

Plus, I'm flexible. Some days are crazy, some are laid back. Some days I'm motivated, some days I just can't seem to find the will to rescue the orphan with burned legs and her hurt pony. Hey, mommies have limits too.

Speaking of limits, Aaron says he should have a line under "Cuddle with" too.  :-) My goals are a work in progress...

two's company, four's a panic attack

Well, I did it, it is done and can I finally stop having nightmares about it already?!?! Really, I’ve had legitimate nightmares about flying on an airplane with a baby (9 mons), toddler (close to 2.5) and a child (5). This is how my adventure turned out…

My husband received and security pass that allowed him to walk us to the terminal where we sat. My, Aaron, the three kids, a diaper bag, a back pack, two kid backpacks and two pillow pets and two strollers. When it came time to board my husband bit us farewell (to a tearful Katie – HOW CUTE IS THAT!?) and I walked with the kids down the tunnel of terror. My instructions? To fold the stroller at the end. I get to the end and panic strikes: I need TWO hands to fold the stroller but I have only ONE if I hold the baby. I can’t keep the poor thing in the stroller while I fold it, I can’t lay her on the floor, “Joel, get back over here!”, maybe I can have Katie sit off to the side and hold her.

“Excuse me. Do you need some help?” Oh! Yes! A gentleman held my baby while I folded the stroller and we all boarded the airplane.

Now, let me just say to my fellow passengers. I am not happy to see your unhappy faces anymore than you’re happy to see me walk in with my entourage of mini-mes. But I considered driving, trains, buses, and other creative means only to realize that flying was it. Promise, I’m not looking forward to this either, can you please make this a tad less pleasant for me? I’m sure trying to make it bearable for you. Thanks. Moving on…

The first 3-seater available was located in the middle of the plane. We took it and I panicked once more. See, I read far too much than might be good for me and in one a flight attendant suggested to worry more about the seats/tray tables than the air when it comes to germs. Yes, the air gets recycled, but it gets filtered. Those seats, buckles, tray tables, arm rests, light buttons, air vents, window shades, head rests, walls… they don’t get cleaned in between each flight. So after some finagling I managed to clean the area by placing a less-than-happy Baby Clare on one of the seats. And we’re off!

A 5.5 hour flight with one stop where we did not exit the plane. The kids switched aisle/window seat during the stop. For the first hour they were fine. Then the stop where I was passively reprimanded by a thoroughly grumpy flight attendant for “moving about the cabin” before they completed their count. Sorry, mister man, the fact that I was distracted while you made the announcement and that other passengers were doing it also led me to move my people forward before you wanted. I apologized anyway. But not to be nice, just to point out that I was preoccupied while he spoke. No Heaven points for that one!

Basically, things went well until the last 1.5 hours. Joel. My son missed his nap to get the airport and basically doesn’t sleep anywhere but his bed. Now, it’s noisy enough on the airplane that I’m pretty sure only the people directly behind and in front of us could even hear his I-have-too-much-over-tired-energy outbursts of loudness, but I was super self-conscious anyway. I’m sure his jumping up and down in his seat annoyed someone other than myself, but it could have been worse.

One lady offered to hold the baby so I could catch a break and change Joel’s diaper. ( I had already gone through the spare outfit I brought, didn’t need a naked boy getting off the plane). After that, the babe feel asleep, I wrapped her up and laid her on the floor. YUP. And it worked out great too.

Our behind neighbor was sweet enough to help as we exited the plane and had to hike to get to the luggage area. It was hard enough WITH her help. I’m so grateful she offered.

The way back when a tad smoother even though it was (scheduled) an hour longer.

I awoke that morning and hit the snooze. Not because I didn’t want to get up at 5:45am, but because I didn’t want my reality to be myself on a plane with 3 little people. Still, I was consistently accompanied by a feeling of peace.

The routine getting on  was basically the same only this time there was a woman in the exact place at the right time to offer her assistance holding Clare while I boarded. And while the flow of people-traffic boarding after us sat as far away as open seats allowed, everyone was kind and tossed us fewer “oh no” looks.

The first 1.5 was taken up with legos. After that it was a mix between the iPad a friend let me borrow, snacks and random (new) surprise toys. The hour before our first landing some elderly gentlemen allowed themselves to be entertained by Joel and then Katie. They were a life-saver. They kept Joel’s attention and spoke to him softly. They were a God-send. I thank them for their patience, kindness and the little Bible they asked to leave us with.

During the flight’s down time I basically forced my kids to move around. Burn off that energy.

The next hour + flight time was nothing short of a miracle. Feeling tired and holding a drowsy baby, I decided to doze off, figuring the kids would wake me long before an emergency. I headed to dreamland with Joel wide awake lying on his pillow pet and Katie looking around. I awoke to everyone else asleep. I could not believe it. But I smiled, said a little prayer of gratitude and dozed back off again. When Katherine awoke she played with some of her legos. When Joel awoke, we were on the ground. Amazing.

And so, in conclusion, it really wasn’t as bad as it could have been. But I think the only thing worse than flying alone with 3 young children might be flying with sever OCD. Seriously! All those germs, the confined space, the touching of items hundreds of others have touched! And that’s just the BATHROOM on the plane!

Tips:

1)      If you’re gonna try to drug your kids, test them out before hand and know your kids. Melatonin and kid benadryl make my kids sleepy, but my children don’t sleep well unless in their beds. Don’t need two tired-but-unable-to-sleep AND bored children on a plane!

2)      My oldest loves crafts, but not so much on the plane. Go figure.

3)      Legos!!! My toddler boy needed something to manipulate with this hands. On the trip there, I didn’t really have anything like that for him and I paid for it. It didn’t matter that we lost pieces. What mattered was that he was able to build his own car and it kept his attention.

4)      Forget workbooks. They just don’t seem as exciting when you’re a kid on a plane! Well, bring one just in case.

5)      Toddlers aren’t into coloring.

6)      Movies on portable DVD players are great. But if your kid only watches 10 minutes of tv at home before jumping up to play with trains, he’s only going to watch 10 on the plane.

7)      Fun snacks. New snacks. When they are behaving, offer them a snack and praise their behavior – behavior management doesn’t all have to be about punishment.

8)      PROTIEN. Ever get done after a trip and feel like you’re not hungry yet you need a meal? Yeah, protein. We froze lunch meat on the way there and Lunchables on the way back. By the time we were ready to eat, they were thawed. Empty carbs, fruit, nuts, cookies, PB+J… even in large quantities don’t hold up for all-day fuel.

9)      iPad. I think Katherine (5) could have played that for hours straight and been fine. Not that she was my main concern anyway.

10)  Something for the ears to pop. “Everything is loud!” Katie exclaimed after I directed her to yawn.

11)  A pillow pet, jacket, blanket, anything to encourage sleep and comfort if you can spare the space.

Bon Voyage!

more than words

Anyone more familiar with the current research is welcomed to correct me but from what I recall it is by age 6 that most of us have our schemas in place. What is a schema you ask? I look at a schema as the rosie or any other colored glasses through which we view the world. I think of schemas as filters through which we sift all information and experiences that come without out sphere of experience. It is how we see the world and ourselves in it. If these are set by the age of 6, take a guess as to who has the most influence over what schemas a child develops.

I believe that one of our human needs is to be loved. Wouldn't it be wonderful if parents could create an inner sense of being loved within their child? I think that would make it easier for said child to experience the world as loving and generate love for others. Feeling a sense of love makes it easier to take risks and do scary things aince there is a sense of security. And love heals.

This post is about words. Yes, actions speak louder than words, as the saying goes, but words do speak. I also think they set the tone in a household and create a foundation on which actions may be interpreted. Well, for me anyway, but I am wordy. :)

So for the past few days I have brainstormed on things I say to my children that create (I hope) a sense and knowledge that they are loved. These are little golden nuggets, short and sweet, easily dropped from my lips as a child runs by, as I pause for a hug, as I bid them good night for the second time, etc. I'd like to know what you golden nuggets of love look like. I am interested in expansion. :)

Here goes:
You are my favorite big girl.
You are my favorite baby.
You are my favorite boy.
Mommy loves you.
I'm glad you came to our family.
I'm glad you're my girl.
Turkey butt.
Of all the Katherines in the world, you are my most favorite.
You are so pretty.
You are so handsome.
Who loves you?
I love you THIS big!
I love you.

a month in review

A few days over due but you will forgive me I am sure. I have been a little busy.

Last month I committed to shopping for groceries with cash. I determined to curb my tendency to buy many of an item when it is on sale if it means going over budget. I made a plan that consisted of creating a menu based on sale items, and filling in those gaps with items purchased at great deals and stored in my pantry.

Well, the cash part did not work out so hotly. I am sure much of this has to do with the fact that I nearly never have cash on me and I am pretty sure I have long forgotten my ATM pin. So, instead I had to exercise more discipline with the credit card after the first time -that trip involved cash.

I did follow my shopping list plan. It was interesting. For instance, some weeks the stores seemed to offer an abundance of good deals and during those times of plenty, my cart was full. Then there was a week where it seemed that nothing I needed was available for a great price. Ugh!! At that time I had to plan more carefully, not buy as much and utilize the basement store. Gotta love the basement store.

Planning a menu based on the current available deals worked fabulously. My mom taught me that trick and it sure paid off.

Hmmm, I guess that will be all for now.


Still, I DID IT! We even had some surplus this month. A-MA-ZING. So there you go.