How is yours narrated?
First person is the mode I spend most of my life in. It is life through my eyes and when thoughts form words, it kind of sounds like a teenage girl whining. Hahaha. Just kidding!
I imagine third person to be my wiser self or a neutral third (coincidence?) party floating above me looking down. Or perhaps watching a movie of my life. What does this person see? This person takes in a much bigger picture than MY perception allows. This is why I find consulting with her to be helpful in all sorts of situations.
For example, yesterday ended with a full hour (exaggeration?) of my grumping at my son and ultimately taking off part of his cardboard house's window ("tearing apart our creation" sounds so much more emotionally abusive). Go ahead and judge, it wasn't my finest hour (but know I did warn him first and it wasn't done in front of him or in a fit of rage or the like). I was feeling pretty miserable myself... ate some candy to confirm that. I love that boy dearly and in my quest to get through to him!!!!! I went too far. That sick feeling in your chest? Knowing you hurt a cherished child? Yuck. First person.
Third person. Well, that was pretty crappy. The extreme action did not produce a positive change in observable behavior (thus far) and that poor little boy has his heart broken. But she is a good mom and he knows she loves him. They have enough positive deposits in the bank to cover this withdrawal. Tomorrow is a new day, I hope they both forgive and move on to better things.
Wow. Third person is a lot more tolerable than first person!
Let's look at family dysfunction as an example.
It seems that no matter how old one becomes, returning home rewinds time and suddenly you are that 5, 7 or 12-year-old again. Take a deep breath, this is normal. Take a deeper one, it is uber difficult to overcome. The roles we are assigned in Family of Origin are ingrained, and hard to break. It can leave each puppet feeling trapped. But step back/up/aside into third person. Third person sees the dysfunction for what it is. She (my third person is female, what about yours?) recognizes that EACH person plays a role in keeping each other person trapped in their assignment. Third person sees the triangulation, defense mechanisms, unfair fighting techniques, addictive behavior traits, victimization, and on and on. And third person sees how they all intertwine to create the liveliest Thanksgiving Dinner you swear you will never attend again (until you do).
Perhaps most important to long-term progression, third person points her finger at me too. She can see how maybe I do toss out the Victim Card a little too quickly when I suspect I was wrong. And how I tend to talk first to the people I know will agree with me. She takes note of the individuals teaming against another that I allow when it is in my favor and... well, that is about it, that is all the dysfunction my subconscious is allowing awareness of tonight. But third person doesn't judge. There is no positive purpose or progression in judging. Third person just notates. She also flys next door and notes the exact same stuff happening over there as well.
I think we all need third person! She is a welcomed guest to place things into proper perspective or help with self reflection! Maybe she can't write the whole novel of your life, but perhaps she could get a paragraph or two at the conclusion of each chapter. Huh? How about it? Give her a try. How does third person see the events in your life today?
[Don't do Third Person well? That is okay, there are these great people I know called therapists. They can help you out. :-)]
No comments:
Post a Comment